Batteries Not Included

Well that’s it….. jobs a good ‘un.

I have said my goodbyes at work and awoken this morning to a leisurely 3 weeks before my flights. (yeah right) And I can confirm that they are booked and I can even announce that my return flights home NEXT Christmas are also booked (thank God I can face my niece now who was likely to inflict actual bodily harm this Christmas day)! I can also confirm that the charity has just signed a new lease on a ‘compound’ where I will be having my own individual flat (eek *gulp*).

I had emotional day as I said goodbye on Wednesday to the people at work I admire the most – my OT’s. And I think the money for my collection had been used on bribing a few of them to say some nice words about me which truly were very touching.

 Saying goodbye to the OT team was such a hard thing to do and my eyes are still stinging from the process (and my head still banging from my choice of coping mechanism – Blackberry Brandy, who’d of thought espresso cocktails could be displaced so quickly?! ).

My partner in crime, Debbie and my PA Sam did an amazing job in making the afternoon memorable, and so I have to give a huge public thanks to them. I also want to go all soppy and tell the team again how much I will miss them all very much as well as a few of my close colleagues amongst the team managers, physio’s, PA’s  L&D, CCU………. ( Oh quick pass the Brandy, I’m going to blub again!!)

I also had a civilised coffee and cake ‘do’ earlier in the week with people from my corridor (inc the senior management team) and was given the most spectacular cake and flowers:

 

So all in all 3 send offs, several bottles of alcohol and some lovely hand made gifts that I will treasure forever isn’t bad.

Right, anyone know how someone starts one of these new life thingies – can’t even find the place to put the batteries   (suggestions NOT welcome!!!) 

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

XxX

The Long Goodbye

For anyone who’s worked with people with dementia they’ll recognise the title as a phrase used to describe the gradual sensation and experience of saying goodbye to a loved one suffering with this devastating illness.

While I would never liken my experiences to those suffering with dementia, I too would like to suggest that I am encountering my own ‘long goodbye’.

To start with, of course there is no doubt that I have slightly lost my marbles – clearly no-one in their right mind would choose to go and live and work in West Africa when:

1)      They hate hot weather

2)      They find going to the toilet in Greece traumatic, never mind having to dig their own hole to squat over.

3)      There is a chance they will once again being subjected to polluted coffee (‘what exactly is chicory’ remains one of life’s unanswered questions)

In fact I am considering suing friends/family & colleagues for not having completed a Capacity Act Assessment on me before allowing me to give up my home and way of life altogether. Didn't we establish during my last blog that i wasn't safe to be left alone!!?!

Well, in addition to clearly being clinical insane, I am finding that the random hugs from colleagues as I say my ever increasing goodbyes, quite alarming, . It’s weird to think that there are so many people I am never going to see in my life again. I admit however that this thought is at times followed by something akin to a post coital glow, depending on who I’m saying cheerio to.

Talking about all things coital, I managed to have a rather amazing screaming orgasm during my official goodbye ‘do’ last Thursday.  Thanks to my team for making it happen! I have been accused in the past of enjoying work a little too much, but my staff took me to new dizzy heights last week! Oh I certainly did the night in style, my legs were wrapped around my neck, and everything. I have to say though that some of my team drive a hard bargain. The person who was not impressed with the leg wrapping party trick until I had done both legs, certainly put me in my place. Also the staff member who responded to my rather emotional “oh I want to take each and every one of you with me, sniff, sniff” with………………………..

 ……………….. “mmmm this sauce would be nice with a bit more chilli in it”

snapped me out of my melancholy instantly!!

Seriously I had an absolutely fabulous night with some of my favourite people from work, thank you to those who came and made it special. It was just a shame that I woke up and realised that I was the only one actually drinking and so I expect that I was probably alone in enjoying myself – and any iota of respect that my team and colleagues still had for me has now clearly gone out of the window! It also means that the only incriminating photos of people behaving oddly are of me:

(And no, I have no idea what I was doing)

Anyway, just 7 more farewell filled work days left….. do you think I if get repetitive strain injury or even chapped arms from hugging I can fill in an incident form and then file a claim against the organisation? Wait a sec, then I won’t have to go to West Africa after all.  I can have one long holiday from the compensation…………………. quick where are those senior managers…… HUUUUUGGGGGS

XxX

Preparations

Well it now official. The world knows that I am moving to Africa.

I’ve gone completely public and braved the wrath of friends, family and a severe stoning from my team at work. I came off lightly really, a few kicked me and someone threatened to beat me with a wrist support; and I think someone looked at me, looked at the open window and had a moment of serious contemplation. I knew this arse would come in useful one day as she was on to a loser with that one right from the start, she’d never be able to push it out!!

You would suppose that given the preparations for this move are HUGE, most of my time is now taken up doing just that. To be fair, my head really is in the game. Honest it wakes me up in the dead of night to remind me that we are going away in about 7 weeks and that I need to, oh I don’t know, sort out my rabies jabs and buy some hypodermic needles. On a practical level though I appear to have become distracted by a new found love for Espresso Cocktails, oh, and champagne!

And obviously the doubts are starting to creep in and my faith is being shaken a little. As we know from my last blog, I have divine qualities (although the distinct lack of disciples so far is very upsetting), but at the moment I feel a bit like Jesus when that Beelzebub fella kept testing his mettle. The man from Nigeria who sat next to me on the train yesterday and took one look at me, slowly shook his head and told me how it was too hot in his country for him didn’t help. I heard him utter something ridiculous like “45 degree’s tut, tut, tut”, before disappearing before my eye’s – well to be fair it was his stop so he got off, but still….!!

I also had a wave of panic when I learnt of the humidity. One, have you seen my hair – I will be a walking bush. Secondly I have a secret I have been keeping from you…… I am in fact half woman, half puffer fish! Seriously one hint of humidity I blow up instantly, and I’m not sure there’s much call for this talent in West Africa!!

Finally, and sorry to lower the tone, there’s the toilet situation. You see I love other cultures, you know the food and the, well food, but one thing that makes me British through and through is that I only really like a proper toilet. Earlier this year I managed to travel in a truck over 5400km over 20 days without once every losing my dignity and squatting behind a bush. I attempted one long drop and after that decided to manage the situation through day time dehydration. It’s a simply method. Do not drink. Now I’ll be honest, I’m no expert but I have my doubts that this will work long term!!!

Oh well, I made my bed, I suppose I will just have to lie in it. After all I have no choice about doing just that anyway, yesterday’s champagne, espresso cocktails and wine have rendered me immobile this morning!!

Xxx

Sorry

I suppose it is only right that start this new blog and adventure with an apology or two:

·         Mum - I am sorry for causing you no end of worry!

·         Bobra - I am sorry for once again depriving you of wearing your hat!

·         My team at work - I am sorry that having recently abandoned you I have come back, instilled the fear of God into you and now I'm leaving you once and for all.

·         Lauren - I am sorry that there is a small risk that I will miss a Christmas with you (although as you instil the fear of God into me, obviously my priority is to make it back in 2012 in time for the cranberry sauce)

·         My disciples - I am sorry but all leave is cancelled for the foreseeable future, back to your stations, quick sharp!!!

So here we are, another journey into the unknown in my quest for Occupational Therapy global domination.

I am doing better folks, this time I am taking on 2 West African countries at once! Not bad eh?

In 2 months’ time I am leaving behind my home, friends and family and once again going to work in the developing world. Now on the negative side this time I’ve managed to land a couple of the most under-developed, deprived countries in the world; on the positive – they’re paying me – yippee!!!

Who knows what this adventure will bring – well other than the cockroaches, and scorpions, and mosquito’s and lack of electricity, and roads for that matter, and yam, lots of yam,  and probably Lassa fever…………………… oh Jesus, what have I done!!!!!

Watch this space……..

xx