New Clothes

People often ask me if it’s stressful living in Africa, which to be honest I find a bloody ridiculous question!

I mean the pressure, trauma and lack of basic resources is a nightmare when you’re trying to cobble together a fancy dress costume for the International Military Training schools’ Halloween ball!

Can you believe, Amazon don’t do next day, or any other day delivery for that matter, and there is a distinct lack of fancy dress shops in the city. And don’t get me started on the lack of charity shops!

And where’s my mum, when I need her eh!! I’m sure women must be given a secret of book of how to do things like make fancy dress costumes out of nothing with one days notice.

I however have not been granted that gift and so just I’ve thrown down out of frustration the net curtain and fishing wire that I was trying to fashion into some wings, and taken to ranting about it instead!!

You see I accidentally agreed to go to this party. A friend of a friend asked if I wanted tickets, so I said ‘yes’ not actually knowing that all my other friends had said no and that ‘oh by the way its fancy dress’!

 Fancy – effing – dress…….in Africa…….. I ask you!!

OK I may have been a little hasty in my response when I heard it was being held at the military barracks (mmmm soldiers), but that is purely for professional reasons of course. (Although I can’t remember the last time that my eye’s glazed over and I started secreting a little bit of droll out the side of my mouth when I was offered a so called professional opportunity, but anyway)

You see at the moment I am the acting Director, and therefore by default I am also head of security. Apparently I am now part of a ‘tree’ and people below me in the trunk are dependent on me. Oh so I see, so not only am I responsible for the safety of everyone working for the organization in 2 countries I also have dependants from about 6 other organizations – marvelous that, just fab!

So you see I NEEEED connections with the military and a man with a rather large weapon by my side. This is especially pertinent as I have managed to acquire my new surrogate family at the time of a large pre-election political rally, planned for tomorrow. Joy!!

To be honest I’m not too worried although I swear politics here is nothing like we’re use to. Each party has a day to rally and from the outside it actually looks as though the aim is to throw the biggest street party ever, and that’s how you win votes. Think carnival and there in lies African politics.

I am sure it must be more complex but all I’ve heard this election is whistles drums, loud music and lots of cheering, no actual political statements!

So you see tomorrow is officially party time so I have no choice but to go really. And given my shameful display at last Saturday’s party hosted by people from South America it’s best that if I go out in public again, it is under the cover of a costume. Seriously though, who thought letting me near the tequila was a good idea.

Well I can tell you that it was not a good idea.

In fact it was a very, very silly idea.

I know. I was the one crawling on my hands and knees between the bathroom and the bedroom.

And the one who was complimented this week in the supermarket by a complete stranger on ‘what I did with the hat’. I have no idea there was a hat.

I certainly do not have a hat!!!.

But obviously now I need a hat if I’m going to brave another party. But I haven’t got one. Because I’m in Africa and Amazon doesn’t deliver!

So, it’s either Lady Godiva or the Emperor then?

Nice.